The Black Introvert: REVAMPED!!

Throughout my entire childhood I was quiet. An introverted black girl that is. Nothing dramatic or tragic happened in my life to be that way. Shocking to some, that's just who I was; and for the most part who I am today.

I was always teased by peers for my introverted ways.They had no problem constantly bringing it to my attention. I can still hear it now, the comments from teachers,classmates,or others making statements like "Courtney's too quiet" or asking me "Why are you so quiet?" Did there really have to be a reason? The sarcastic flare inside me desired to rebuttal "Why do you talk so much?" or "Just let me be!"

I was once told by a teacher to be a voice and not an echo.What does that even mean? Not to mention I was forced in the classroom to be more social  by participating in group activities. Though I was young, I wondered why being less talkative was perceived in such a negative light. There was always this ongoing pressure to talk just for the sake of talking. I truly thought something was wrong with me. 

I felt like I was the minority based on race as well as personality. At times I could sense the frustration in someones voice when they inquired why I was "that way". Did there have to be a reason? From childhood up until now, it's still considered rather odd for a black girl to be reserved. It's like an oxymoron. My demeanor seemed to make people uncomfortable or confused. But us black introverts do exist, we are just misunderstood.

In American society, overall introverts are usually viewed as antisocial or lethargic.Let's face it, introverts tend to have a hard time no matter what race they are. But as an African-American, we live in a society that stereotypes most black women for being loud and aggressive. Hence, it is rather difficult for some to grasp the concept that I was quiet and black. Yes at the same time!

Thanks to the media, black women are typecast to be loud,dominating,full of attitude with a larger than life personality. It's almost like our "duty" to always entertain whomever we come in contact with. However, not all of us are the "Monique" or "Tasha Smith" types. Some of us are laid back, good listeners and more observant just like most introverts. But since this type of personality is unexpected from us, it can bring about a challenge in the work place and in social situations. In particular my Caucasian counterparts.

It's like an unspoken rule for us to be lively or turn whatever atmosphere we are in, into some type of party.It was like I wasn't fulfilling their idea of a black woman. It would make others standoffish towards me and would be downright exhausting for me. Being forced into small talk is straight torture! It's extremely difficult when you feel as though people are disappointed because you're not as vivacious as your fellow black coworker or friend.

The term "Introvert" is unfairly associated with being arrogant,mean,disconnected, weak, boring,or unintelligent. Being both black and introverted seemed to be mistaken as menacing, devious or somewhat troubled. But in all actuality it's very much the total opposite. We just take a different approach to life. We are strong. We are internal thinkers. Yes we do talk just not aggressively. We cringe from the thought of small talk, but tend to engage in more meaningful conversations. We are very selective in who we open up to just like other introverts. We make great friends and love to have fun too.We just need to warm up to people. It's a must! Just like the many skin tones and backgrounds, there are various personalities and interests that goes along with being black as well.

Growing up getting teased, I was brainwashed into thinking I was suppose be a certain way.There was always this sense of guilt that I wasn't typically like my race. I began to question my identity as a black girl. So did my peers.

The older I got the more I realize it's okay to be me. Regardless of it's unpopularity, you have to be comfortable with your personality even when others aren't. It is not always an easy task because till this day I'm still misunderstood and seem awkward to others.

Race should never be limited to one type of persona. God made everyone different including personality.So the next time you meet an introvert and they happen to be black, let them be their self. Don't ask why they're so quiet.  That doesn't make one talk more. And if you're still confused about introverts in general, check out Susan Cain's book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking or take a Psychology class.

Are you an IBW? (Introverted While Black) Do you consider yourself an introvert? Were you always one? Do you have introverted tendencies? Do you know any black introverts?