Tuesday, November 26, 2013

No Pity Party for you!

It's so easy to get caught up in social networks...Facebook....Instagram...Twitter. Sometimes it "seems" as if  everyone is doing better than you and progressing in life. People are either getting married, having great friendships, families and relationships, living out their dreams, taking exotic trips, gaining and keeping popularity, losing weight, staying beautiful, dreams coming true etc. And that demon I like to call "comparison" creeps up on you and here comes pity party train. Most people would never admit they've ever felt this way. This is all do to pride and not wanting to appear insecure or jealous aka "hating."

But c'mon we have all felt that way some point. We tend to forget sometimes that people reveal what they want you see on these sites....the glorified parts of their life. That's right... parts.....meaning their whole life is not glitz, glamour and happiness all the time. Not to mention the fantasy world that Internet users create. Do not fall for it! We all have struggles and daily challenges. But sometimes you just need to sign off, log off or deactivate for a little while and connect with "real" life.







For myself, I admit 2013 has been one the toughest years for me thus far. From relationships to self-esteem from health to fighting for job opportunities. My spirit was broken and I never thought I would improve emotionally or in life. It was easy to feel bad for myself and to feel resentment and like I said before compare.  Don't get sucked into depression or the "woe" is me mentality.

By no means am I a professional or an expert.But with much prayer, support and action here's what I did to nip that feeling and regain my focus.


Pray.





Sounds basic. Sounds simple. But it does take a lot of effort to make it consistent and a everyday part of your life. I'm still working on this even now. Having a regular conversation with God everyday has helped me tremendously. It helps me to relax and focus on Him. He knows everything you're struggling with. When you pray, ask God for strength, wisdom and courage to get through life's challenges. Give it a try.


Talk to someone.


You have to be careful about this one. Make sure you seek out someone who is wise and who truly cares for you. Mom. Dad. Pastor. Cousin. Whoever you trust. Sometimes even getting a non biased opinion can help as well such as a counselor. They can give you the tools and advice to get to very root of your issue. Keeping your feelings bottled up inside is very detrimental to your health and your spirit. You have to release yourself.



Release!


A Journal of Gratitude.


Write down what you're thankful and the things that you do have. It could your job. Your children. Your car. Your health. You would be surprised how many things you  come up with.

This can be challenging as well. Your mind is on your problems. But with you comparing yourself this can really be really vital for you.  Yes... you don't have everything but you do have something that someone would give their right arm to have. Get a notebook or journal and if not everyday...maybe every week write down something that you are thankful for. It can be a material item but try to focus on the non materialistic. Decorate your notebook or journal cover to make it fun. Purchase a journal that suits your personality. Cut out magazine pictures or words. Be creative!







Use your gift. Discover your talent.

I always had a passion for the arts. I love dance,writing and doing makeup. So I make sure in some way, shape or form I'm doing one of these activities. Not only is it therapeutic but it helps to build self-esteem and takes your mind off your issues and it keeps you busy. Who would have time to look and compare their life to everyone else...you'll be occupied! Everyone is good at something. Yes even you!I believe God gave us our gifts and talents to help others. I may not be the best dancer, writer or makeup artist but when I'm doing one those activities I feel energized and good about myself. Sharing your gifts with other can gives one sense of fulfillment.


Give of yourself.


Helping others can do wonders for your spirit. Putting a smile on someones face always makes me feel good inside. Call or text a loved one to let them know you're thinking about them. Volunteer at a church or a nonprofit organization. It's not always about giving the tangible things but rather your time.


Write down your goals and dreams.


This can go into your journal as well. Never be afraid to dream. When you have a goal and stick with it ,whether it is long term or short term it totally refocuses your thoughts. Put  it into action...pursue it....be proactive. Of course there will be distractions and adversity when trying to obtain a goal. But there will be no time to compare yourself to other people because you will be too busy living out your own life.









Sometimes you need to break away from the social networking. Now don't get me wrong it is a powerful tool and it has it's benefits. But sometimes it can be too much a part of our lives.


So with that being said......


Live your life. It's a gift. Even when it's hard try to make the best of it. Yes it's easier said than done but not impossible.


Your problems won't last forever. Have a positive vision. Focus on a better future!


Even when life has thrown the rug from underneath you, you still have something you can be thankful for.


You are unique. Don't compare your life to someone else's. Trust me it will make you miserable. No pity party!


You have so much to offer. Share it with the world!




“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

― Theodore Roosevelt



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