I could still hear it now..... comments from teachers,classmates, and others saying things like "Courtney's too quiet" or asking me "Why are you so quiet?" (Did there really have to be a reason). I had (still do) a sarcastic flare inside me wanting to rebuttal "Why do you talk so much?" But I didn't Even as child I wondered why was being less talkative was perceived in such a negative light. There was always this pressure to talk just for the sake of talking.
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| Me age 9. I always been an internal thinker |
Society as a whole, introverts just seem to have a bad rap.My theory with being a black girl it was difficult for the masses to accept that I was quiet. Black AND quiet. At times you could sense the frustration in peoples voices when they asked why I was that way. Even up to my adulthood in society it appears to be rather unusual and odd for a black girl to be an introvert. It's like an oxymoron. But we do exist and are very misunderstood in society.
The term "Introvert" seems to be associated with being arrogant, anti-social, mean ,nervous, disconnected, weak, boring, unintelligent etc. But in all actuality it's very much the total opposite. We just take a different approach to life. I tend to be more of an observer if you will. An internal thinker.And yes we do talk! Not so much small talk, but tend to engage in more meaningful conversations. Selective in who we open up to .Some people jump into things head on...conversations, social situations etc and that's okay. But then others simply like to get a feel for things....AND that's okay too.
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| Me as a youngin' |
Based depiction of black women in the media we are stereotyped to be loud, full of attitude with a larger than life personality and always entertaining whoever we come in breathing contact with. But all of us are not the Monique, Tasha Smith types.This brings about a challenge in working and social situations. Because people don't expect that from the black girl. (In reference to people I mean all races...yes even the fellow brotha and sista don't understand why one sista is....well quiet).
Growing up hearing the teasing..... I was brainwashed into thinking I was suppose be a certain way or there was always this sense of guilt.And it can really bring you down because I was simply being myself.
The older I got the more I realize it's okay to be ME. Regardless of it's unpopularity you have to be comfortable with your personality even when others aren't. It is not always an easy task because I'm still learning. But people who love you or want to get to know you....will take you as you are.
Are you an IWB? (Introverted While Black) Do you consider yourself an introvert? Were you always one?Do you have introverted tendencies?
